Just Say No

Here’s a temptation you (probably) don’t encounter every day: the temptation to have your picture taken with a movie star. At the time this particular temptation presents itself, it does not seem like a temptation. It seems like a no-brainer. Of course you want your picture taken with the movie star! I mean, hey, how cool is that? You’ve not only met a movie star, but said movie star has actually conversed with you – at least to the extent that you have said, “Um, can I take your picture?” and the movie star has responded in the affirmative.

You are about to experience a rude awakening.

This seemingly-harmless encounter – and the pleased realization that you have your camera with you – is a trap. Do not fall into this trap. Resist the temptation to have your picture taken with that movie star.

You think you are going to want the picture, to prove to people that you met the movie star. You toy with the idea of blowing it up and framing it. You are quite certain that you want to post it on Facebook, probably with a jocular caption containing the term “BFF.” Until, that is, you see the picture … and hear the echo of Lucifer and all his imps having a good laugh at your expense.

See, here’s the deal. You were surprised to discover that the movie star looked just like a regular person, weren’t you? But this, my friend, is an illusion. Movie stars look like regular people when viewed through the human eye. Through a camera lens, they look like movie stars.

And here’s the cruel truth: in your no-longer-so-cherished photograph, the movie star still looks like a normal human being. It is you, Gentle Reader, who appears far from normal. Standing next to a movie star, you look like the unnatural offspring of Freddy Krueger and The Blob.

You will stare at the photograph in horror and disbelief. You will cringe. You may weep. But one thing you will never do is show that photograph to another human soul. Your near and dear are going to have to take your word for it that you met the movie star. Sad but true.

Consider yourself warned.

6 thoughts on “Just Say No

  1. I love this! I would feel the same way–any photo with me in it is just jinxed!

    Of course, I would tell you that YOU, however, are just being overly-sensitive (oh, where is Jay and his magic portrait abilities when we need him?)😀

  2. Well, I don’t know, anybody famous I ever met turned out to be just another person! Some even with bad breath. They were lucky to get their picture taken with you, I think!

    • Oh, I wasn’t talking about me, personally. I was just offering advice in general. [she said, with fingers firmly crossed behind her back]

  3. I have a picture of myself and Sir Ian McKellen. In it, I have a noticeable “I’M STANDING BESIDE GANDALF!” look on my face. I do keep it on display, mainly to remind myself of what a twit I was on that occasion.

    • LOL … I bet you weren’t a twit at all. I bet it’s the Movie Star Thing, just like I said — movie stars look normal when you point a camera at them, and the rest of us look dweeby!

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