Whose idea was this “blogging” thing, anyway? And where can I lodge a complaint? Because I have one. Oh, strike that; I have several.
Complaint No. 1: Who has time for this? I don’t have time for this. Some people blog daily, which makes me really, really cross. Because I know perfectly well that they don’t have time for it either, yet they get it done. So the implication is that there’s something wrong with me, and frankly, I resent it.
Complaint No. 2: Where can I learn to draw? Most of the blogs I really like to read have clever drawings, like Hyperbole And a Half. Mine has no clever drawings because I cannot draw, so the implication yet again is that there is something wrong with me, and frankly, I resent it.
Complaint No. 3: Some people’s blogs are screamingly funny. Some are so beautifully written that I read them over and over again for the pure pleasure of experiencing their gorgeousness. Some blogs are inspiring — they make you smile, or make you cry, or make you think. Some score excellent political points using words I wish I’d thought of. My blog does none of these things, which implies that there is something wrong with me. And frankly, I resent it.
I Googled “trackback.” According to Wikipedia it is akin to a “pingback.” Since I also don’t know what a “pingback” is, this sent me into an irrational fit of the sulks, which I am now taking out on YOU. Because Wikipedia seems to think there is something wrong with me, and frankly, I resent it.
I think I need a trip to Apple Hill.